-Saturday, August 06, 2005- I Cry Alone

Last night or better yet this morning 'round 3:16 , I found myself sitting at the edge of my bed with my back against the wall, hugging one of my pillows and my iPod at maximum volume when I suddenly realized that I was crying... then it hit me...For the past 4 yrs. I've been crying all by myself, and it hurts, it hurts in a way that I cannot explain.

Around 4 a.m., an idea entered my mind.. It's time to let go, to let go of my past, let go of my memories, it's time to let them go...

I know, most of you are probably thinking that I'm the most immature 20 year old person you know, you might think it's childish.. but this IS ME!

Have you had that feeling you get every time you go out on a date and when you reach home and sit beside the phone waiting patiently yet with that certain feeling of exhilaration, for your date's call, to tell you they got home safe and how they had so much fun with you? That's how I've been feeling except that I wasn't waiting for a phone call from a date, I was waiting for letters (SMS, if you will) from the friends I had back in the Pilipins. (I'm not saying I haven't received any letters... but 2 letters from 2 different people in 4 years is not really what I call having a communication) *Thanks to Ebet & Kuya Jai, really appreciate it!*

I think, the truth is, now they have their own new lives, and that life does not include me.

No, I'm not alone but still I feel so lonely...

signed,
who deemed @ 10:46 PM

0 rants and raves:

whisper to my ears

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